Chapter 17 A Falling Out

 

 

 

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Chapter 17, “A Falling Out” of Where I Come From.

 

Sadly, the turmoil of the recent election has caused me to see families and friendships break apart. This story from our new book, Where I Come From, may help you take that first step to reconciliation.

It’s one of my favorite stories. I’m prone to list all of my stories as “one of my favorites,”  but I wouldn’t put a short story in a book that might become your favorite,

 

I was told this story years ago. It’s still one of my favorites.

Two brothers were excellent carpenters and built houses together throughout the hill country near Fredericksburg, Texas.

One day, they had a falling out, which resulted in them refusing to speak to each other.

Despite that, they continued building houses together. They knew each other’s work from years of building side by side; they could do it without speaking to each other. They talked around each other and, as needed, “sent messages” through co-workers.

They continued building houses together for nearly a decade without speaking a word. And it was all because of that falling-out ten years before. No one knew what their falling-out was over despite the long shelf life of the grudge,

Then, one day, out of the blue, one of the brothers laid down a two-by-four, “You know what I haven’t seen in a long time? A chicken snake.”

Moments passed as the second brother stood in thought, hammer at his side,

“Come to think of it, I haven’t seen one either.”

That broke the ice, and the dam burst. The brothers enjoyed each other’s company and built many more houses together for the rest of their lives.

I guess you could say they buried the hatchet (or the hammer).

A falling-out was repaired.

Falling-outs are much more than disagreements. Disagreements are part of life, but a falling-out results in a broken relationship. There’s a stubborn unwillingness to forgive and move on. The longer a falling-out lasts, the more bitter it can become.

Nothing good can come out of bitterness. It’s possibly the deadliest of all human emotions.

I’ve seen fall-outs of all flavors in the Pineywoods, but many have come from several sources: land, money, and dogs.

Sadly, disputes over family land or possessions are most cringe-worthy.

Disagreement over a property line, hurt over the division of inherited land, an argument over who gets Momma’s china or Daddy’s Browning twelve-gauge pump shotgun.

None of these should happen, but they do. Most fallouts continue because of pride. No one is willing to give in and make the first step.

. . .

I want to add a disclaimer. Even if you step up and attempt to reconcile, it doesn’t guarantee the other will be open to closure.

It takes one to forget and two to reconcile.

Reconciliation can be messy. Sometimes, despite your sincere effort, you may be rebuffed and seem to make things worse.

However, if you make the first step, call or visit, you will have done your part. It’s no longer in your hands. You can go to sleep at night knowing you did your dead-level best to make it right.

* * *

Another story, “Two Sisters,” illustrates another falling-out:

Sometimes, it takes a storm to heal a falling-out.

I’d known the two sisters and several generations of their clan. When I heard they had a falling-out, it saddened me. I don’t like to see Dry Creek families on the outs. I don’t know what they disagreed over. I wonder if, after these years of stony silence, they even remembered what ignited their disagreement. Even sadder, their children also fell out. Two sisters and a line of cousins became estranged. There were no Christmas cards and no family reunions.

One sister lived in Dry Creek, the other an hour away in Lake Charles. It might as well have been a thousand miles. They’d dug in after falling-out, and it seemed destined to last a lifetime.

A storm in 2005 changed all of that. Her name was Hurricane Rita. Rita was Katrina’s younger sister, and she struck SW Louisiana about three weeks after her Big Bad Sister Katrina.

I rode out Rita and can attest she was a bad girl, too.

Ahead of Rita, a mandatory evacuation was ordered for Lake Charles and surrounding Calcasieu Parish.

That’s when Dry Creek-sister picked up the phone and called Lake Charles-sister.

“Where are you going for the storm?”

Lake Charles-sister said, “I’m not sure.”

“Well, I know where you’re going. You’re coming to stay with me in Dry Creek.”

And that’s precisely what happened.

The days and weeks after Rita were tough in Dry Creek. There was no water or electricity, and the storm’s aftermath made every everyday tasks difficult, but according to the younger sister, it was a sweet time of forgiveness and healing.

They’re both dead now, but I can attest to the fact that they stayed friends and caring sisters for the reminders of their lives.

I’m still touched by this story of forgiveness between those two Dry Creek sisters.

I hope it moved you, figuratively and literally. It moved and stirred your soul, but it also moved you to make the first step forward with your feet to heal any fall-outs in your life.

A Final Word

If you’re in the midst of a falling-out, don’t wait.

Last year, I sat by the deathbed of a dear friend who’d suffered a major stroke. I observed my precious aunt and uncle, who, although not related by blood, had been closer to my friend than family.

As their friend lay dying, I saw tears but no regret from my aunt and uncle. They’d been life-long friends, and nothing had been left unsaid.

Sadly, I observed blood family members, who had not spoken with their sister in twenty years, arrive.

They had lots of tears and a ton of regret. It’s hard to restore a falling-out when one party is lying unconscious.

I’m sure there were two sides to this falling-out. It’s nearly always that way.

My friend died estranged from her sisters. That’s a burden they’ll have to bear.

That makes it even sadder.

Don’t wait.

Be the brave one and take the first step. Find some way of breaking the ice.

If you can’t think of something to say, there’s always chicken snakes and hurricanes.